It’s been a while since my last blog entry.. And a lot has happened since then. I guess I’ve just given up on writing completely because I found it so hard to turn thoughts and emotions into words and sentences.

One major event that took place was the creation of a “gossip blog” that became viral in the social circle back home in Cambodia. At first, it was new and exciting, something to laugh at because of the competition that they had to decide which guys are hot or which guys aren’t. But then, the posts became more insulting, and the posts were attacking certain people. Not only that, this anonymous blog became the focus on a lot of people who were being insulted, and this ended up with people becoming frustrated with the anonyminity of the blogger. Fingers quickly started being pointed at various “suspects”. Unfortunately, I became one of those people, suspicions were focused on me. One person even started inboxing me on Facebook and accusing me of this without so much as a question to make their suspicions clear. This frustrated me, causing me to start to hate the society that I lived in. I started becoming angry with everyone, with people I didn’t know because this “rumour” of me being the mind behind the gossip blog began spreading like wildfire. Even people who knew me so well, or at least I thought they did, started to judge me. I tried so hard to ignore these rumours, but people keep coming up to me and telling me that these accusations were still being stated in conversations between friends when they were gossiping.

But I’ve decided to live my life to the fullest and not let others affect my happiness, my wellbeing and my emotions. I’ve been disappointed after finding out the names of those who started my accusations, but I’ve learned to let that go. I’ve accepted that society can be a double edged sword. It can be beautiful, with friends and loved ones or it can be ugly, with people who want to bring you down. I guess I felt the need to write all this because I know that somewhere out there, someone is going through the same situation as me. Being accused and talked about in a bad way, where people who barely know you, judges you. So, if you’re going through this, just focus on the people that make you happy in life, don’t let others affect how you live because you have the right to a happy life, just like everyone else. There’s no point in calling them names like “backstabbers” or “two-faced” because calling them names wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t do you any good, it would only turn you into an angry person who is dissatisfied with life. At one point or another, you have to realise that the only things that matter in life are the things that you choose to let matter. And on that note, I hope you feel a sort of relief in knowing that you aren’t alone.

Yours truly,
thegirlwiththebirthmark